Lady I listened to #1: Senator Kamala Harris

Home with a sick kiddo, I did not get to march with the 750,000 women and men that took to the streets of Los Angeles last Saturday. (And millions more around the world!)

What I did, instead, is sit with my daughter, watching the live streams and seeing people's Facebook walls fill with wonderful, inspiring images of hopeful defiance. So many pics of thick, thick crowds.

In a way I am grateful I didn't get to march, because sitting at home, tissues in hand (mostly for snot, some for tears), we got to talk at length about why women were angry. Why mommy and her friends had gotten up and headed out so early in the morning with a trunkload of signs and why she might want to do the same some day soon.

We made a day of it, talking in grown-up ways about grown-up ideas. I hope I did OK.

We talked about elections, presidents, laws, senators and how they affect our lives. We talked about the "P word" and what it means when ladies say they won't let Trump grab theirs. We talked about the fact that women and people of color are paid less, respected less and pushed aside by American society. And we laughed at all the great and funny signs and cheered for change, hope and resistance.

We watched many powerful women give powerful speeches. Maxine Waters, Cecile Richards and Scarlett Johansson all gave rousing, meaningful speeches. I had to explain who Madonna was.

Then, we had to talk about why daddy was tearing up while Kamala Harris talked about the ways in which the march were personal for her. About how "women's issues" include climate change, immigration and national defense.

If you missed Senator Harris' speech because you were marching (yay!) or busy, I'd recommend watching it online.

Why does this blog exist?

This computer web log exists because I want to be a feminist. Or an ally, I guess? No... a feminist.

Because all one needs to do to be a feminist is to support feminism. So says the dictionary. And I do. But not as well as I could, not in the ways that humanity deserves from me.

So what are the steps for a man who wants to become a better feminist?

I Googled it:

Step 1: Shut up. Men have been talking over everyone for centuries, apparently.

OK, I am kind of failing already by starting this blog, I guess. But I mean well. And, really, this blog is not going to be about telling women anything. I don't want to make it all about me and it's not meant to dictate behavior for anyone but me. I just want to keep a record of my journey. I hope that's OK. If not, I am listening.

Step 2: Listen to women. OK, so this is where the idea for this blog really comes into play. I am 42 years old. Even with good intentions in place for most of those years, I still spend an inordinate amount of time listening to, watching, reading and playing things created by men. Because that's our culture. Because it's easy.

What I want to do for this year - for 2017 - is to listen to more women. And watch their movies. And play their games. And just hear their points of view.

I would be lying to you if I pretended that the genesis of this document were purely altruistic or selfless. I have a daughter. Her name is Ava Jean. She's 5 1/2 now and is totally, completely wonderful.She's smart, determined and focused on science and math in ways that I have never been.

As I write this, the inauguration of Donald Trump is only two days away. I am afraid for Ava. I am afraid for her future.

Here begins my year. The first year of my life in which I let women's voices drown out the others. I could do this for the rest of my life and probably still not catch up. I start now, in earnest.

My intention is to share those experiences with you as I go, writing about the women whose voices I admire and listen to and encounter. Next year at this time, I hope to be a better feminist. And a better man.

Andrew Duncan
Jan 18, 2017